Agatha Seymour's

I’m a real daydreamer. Unfortunately I can rarely use this characteristic of mine in life. I sometimes get angry why on earth I didn’t study some kind of exact science for example physics or something else which is measurable and keeps me on the ground. One of the most important things that I’ve learned from my favorite writer (he was a doctor) is that one can always profit from rationalism, it teaches us to be reasonable, consistent, practical and it never goes out of fashion.

Everybody is looking for happiness throughout a lifetime, some find it and some suffer from the lack of it during their whole life. In my experience, happiness, in some ways, is also the question of skill. For some life offers again and again that things will go great but can’t use the opportunity because he/she is constantly lamenting on whether it’ll be good enough for him/her or whether this decision perfectly lives up to society’s expectations. One of my psychologist friend commented on the question: ‘If one wants to be happy on the basis of the world and the society’s expectations he/she is very likely to be unhappy. If there is any possible advice to give, maybe it would be that everybody should be happy on their own ways as they can and as they dare’ she said.

A lot of people complain that their darling has become lazy, inattentive and he/she has put on other unpleasant habits. Unfortunately I must tell you that in most cases the problem is with us, because it is us who make the other get used to being served without return. It’s advisable to consciously build up the everydays of our relationship for the beginning and to pay attention not to let things become unhealthily disproportionate. Later on it’s more difficult to change set habits and that’s why it’s worth keeping in mind the saying: what today is a favor tomorrow a requirement…

When you are in love, you attribute every delicate feeling inside you and inner wealth to the other. You think that it’s thanks to the other that you are in that heavenly state, that you are deliriously happy in love. If we think it through every feeling that we experience is ours, the energy and the elevated state of mind is in us and not in the other. It’s hard to accept but we are this beauty, this glare, the universal energy, the other is just a mirror.

I’m not ashamed of learning from others. It is not a problem for me to admit that I’m far not as clever as Stephen Hawking and in this life I’m not even going to approach him. What’s more! Actually I happily declare that I don’t have to struggle with forced compliance under the burden of “I know everything” and I’m happy due to the fact and experience that there is no person from whom I couldn’t learn something. Everybody is able to seem clever or be a smart aleck, but not everybody is capable of being open-minded, paying attention to others or learning from others. I believe the latter requires more wisdom; anyway life constantly brings further things to learn to my way, so it’s worth paying attention to everybody’s life experience and wisdom.

I felt good in those relationships where I was a bit selfish, or rather when I loved myself very much. When I always turned a blind eye to everything… somehow things didn’t work out. Then suddenly I got fed up with and said to myself that it would be great to be alone for a while, I’ll enjoy myself alone as well, I’ll have more spare time for my things and for my friends. From this moment on I expect my partner to pay attention to my needs, to feel the importance of the things which are important for me. The most important conclusion of my relationships so far is that everybody can go as far as we let them and only those things can be done to us which we let to be done! The most important thing is to love and respect ourselves, so that our partner can love and respect us as well!

‘I paid too much attention to other’s opinion. I made unworthy sacrifices because I wasn’t brave enough to cause pain,’ wrote my favorite author, W.S. Maugham. I have been thinking a lot about this sentence. I think no matter how sympathetic we are with others sometimes there is no other possibility but to cause pain because taking responsibility for ourselves is not compatible with the interest of others. Of course it is not always the case and not at any cost, since it would be selfish, I think healthy, instinctive common sense can help finding out from the maze of possible decisions.

Sometimes I don’t feel like doing anything. I’m sniveling and yawning all morning and reprovingly observe the weather. I guess angels love me very much because on these days they send someone who needs me. Let it be my neighbor, the elderly Anna who can’t take the trash out because the elevator is out of order, or any other acquaintances of mine who need my help, I immediately feel better and through helping I get eager for action. I get down to work and I work until I faint. Anybody can try it, it works!!!

I observe myself and my addictions. I have some obvious ones which I try to change intentionally, but then I have some which crookedly hide among the everydays. It’s not easy to let any of these go. We usually insist on them so much (even though we are aware of the fact that they just hold us back and keep us enslaved) as if we couldn’t live without them. However, quite the contrary, it means freedom if we don’t give anything or anybody any power over ourselves.

I love flowers! That’s why we usually always have a bunch of them on the table. Since summer offers a great opportunity to have your home filled with the smell of flowers, it’s worth trying it. Fortunately there is a wide range of cheaper and more expensive ones on offer. For those who live in the jungle of blocks of flats or in a smaller or bigger town, it’s a simple and great opportunity to make their home cozy and beautiful.

Summer provides sport fans with a great variety of entertainment. Since most of us can’t afford to travel where the events take place, we enjoy the matches on TV. For myself, I love watching these matches with friends, it’s a great opportunity to meet, chat and get closer to each other.

I can see several relationships around me where, although being together for numerous years, the couple is unable to decide to get married. In my experience, love is always on its summit at the beginning of a relationship and after that it is slowly ‘declining’. It doesn’t necessarily means that it gets worse, only that passionate affection slowly transforms into love or into a custom or something else that doesn’t urge the desire for officially committing ourselves to each other. Therefore, I think it’s better to get married early in a relationship. One or two years should be enough to make a decision. If he is the one, you shouldn’t wait and nor should you if he isn’t…

One of my idols is Nigella Lawson, British cook. Not simply because she can cook as well as I will never be able to, but also because her love of life and her passion pervades everything around her. Also, her healthy approach to the difficult situations of life is exemplary for me. The answer often comes to my mind that she always gives to the frequently asked questions in connection with the numerous fatal illnesses in her family and her difficult childhood: ‘So what?! Bad things happen to everybody, I’m not the only one, I don’t let myself die of these tragedies and I go on, that’s all!’

Sometimes we need tragedies in order to being able to face our weaknesses and worries and being able to let them go. However, it doesn’t mean that we are victims! We must consciously realize that we had to experience something and we have to observe the events from a certain distance. Sometimes life takes us into events as ‘children’ and we come out of them as ‘adults’. It’s important that instead of the sorrow and the role of a loser, we only keep the consequences and the freedom for the future.

There were times when I felt that nobody cares about me, as if I was invisible. I suffered a lot from this feeling but when I didn’t turn to the events with ‘pointing outside’ I saw that the problem is not in the world. It’s me who cannot pay attention to myself, to my inner voice, my real needs; and I only want to take something with force from others that I should provide for myself . Since then when the ‘I don’t get enough attention’ feeling rushes me I close my eyes and turn to my self with love, pay attention to my feelings, my thoughts, my desires and it usually turns out that I ‘only’ needed to be important to myself.

If I have a little saving I always invest it into myself. As I see it, the best investment is educating myself, getting to know myself better, working actively on my consciousness everyday, preserving my health and gaining lifelong experiences. I believe, sooner or later all of these will be manifested in the physical world, because only the wealth existing in the inside can be realized in the outside.

What does it mean today to live well? In my view, it means that we do what we love and we can live on it. I think the greatest luxury of all, if you can live your life as you like it, live for what you like and do the hobbies you like. For me it doesn’t necessarily include owing a boat or a weekend house in the countryside, but of course if you can afford these things use the opportunity and enjoy every minute.

If it’s summer and hot then cycling! As soon as summer comes, I dust my bicycle and I’m already riding it. I think this is the best summer sport, you are in fresh air, move and you can live social life and by the way it’s a great program!

Many people treat others as if they were insignificant nobodies, even though we were shaped by the same Creator. Nobody should be looked down on, every single person hides unbelievable treasures inside. As soon as we change our attitude towards others and treat them respectfully, they reveal their true values and become great. That’s the secret!

‘If you can picture someone, you can’t miss that person’ said one of my girlfriends. The problem is that we want to experience everything until getting nausea from it and we are not content with what we get. Then if we get the other, we get bored in no time and then we again start longing for someone else…

Everybody uses a different strategy for making decisions. The other day one of my acquaintances introduced an interesting approach to me. ‘While a relationship or any other projects provide me more than what I invest in it, I go on’ said he. ‘It is true to my relationships, business matters and everything else in general. It works perfectly and I’m absolutely satisfied with the results’ he added. Practical approach!

We tend to blame our failures on our inner qualities, like half-heartedness, weakness etc… However, in my experience, it is usually just an excuse for myself and for others. Actually laziness, lack of motivation and indifference lingers in the background. It is worth being honest to ourselves in order to see clearly…

Our world has speeded up, as well as our relationships. It seems that we have no time to wait for the other because life rushes past us and we miss the most important things. However, the situation is far from being so catastrophic. Recently I have faced the fact that men can and are ready to wait for a woman if they think seriously about a relationship. One of my good friends is waiting for a lady for months from who he believes she might be the One. He is not forceful, doesn’t act as if he didn’t care, he has honestly stated his feelings and he is waiting for the right moment when they can join together. Ladies, you shouldn’t give up hope!

It’s common knowledge that I’m a great movie fan, so we often have film clubs at our place. Everybody brings some kind of a treat that we eat before watching the film (I’m also good at preparing two kinds of cakes and the guests can usually enjoy these in turns) and choosing the film is my task. This week we watch one of the classics of Buñuel. If you want to know more about the writer please visit agathaseymour.com

If I have time I love participating in the collection of fruits. Fortunately some of my acquaintances and friends are happy to have some helping hands on the fields and for me it’s a great relief being out in fresh air doing some physical work after a whole week sitting in front of the computer. And of course we shouldn’t forget the joy of eating a huge amount of fresh fruit! If you want to know more about the writer please visit agathaseymour.com

Although I hate routines, the practices that I have built into my life provide me with a firm base and security. Of course, I carefully consider what I should spend energy on every single day. For me these things include meditation, practicing mantra and running. This is a kind of outer and inner construction of myself. The energy I invest in these activities turns back to me multiplied, I feel myself fresh and it’s great to know that I start and finish my days with activities from which I gain energy for a long time. If you want to know more about the writer please visit agathaseymour.com