When All Seems Lost — and Even When It Doesn’t…

When All Seems Lost — and Even When It Doesn’t… As a writer, I read more than average. Not necessarily books that fall within my immediate interests, but rather those I can learn from, marvel at, analyze word by word, and sometimes even those that demand more effort from me than usual. That is how it is with Alice Munro. I bought my first book by her when she received the Nobel Prize. Then life happened, and the volume sat on my bookshelf—either I had no time for it, or it lingered somewhere at the bottom of my list of priorities. When I finally picked it up, I could hardly believe my eyes—or my reaction. First, I was utterly outraged; my blood pressure shot through the roof in an instant, and I almost started swearing in disbelief. I had barely skimmed the first few lines, yet that was enough to know: it was perfect. A true masterpiece. Excellence among the excellent. Every word reached the deepest layers of my soul. I was touched by its purity, its delicacy, the noblest simplicity radiating from the sentences.

I won’t embellish it: I was in shock. For days, I had no desire to speak. How is it possible to write like this? To create such perfection? How can something like this even exist in the world? I didn’t know whether to cry or laugh—from joy, from astonishment, from sheer admiration. Weeks later, I picked up the book again. I leafed through it cautiously, then put it back on the shelf. One cannot simply read Alice Munro, the realization dawned on me. First, I decided, I would clean as thoroughly as possible—everything would have to shine. Then I would go to the hairdresser, the beautician, the manicurist; I would put on my most beautiful dress, do my makeup, apply my favorite red lipstick, tie bow ties on my cats, dress my soul for a celebration—and only then, yes, only then would I take Alice Munro’s book in my hands. I surprised myself with this insight, which I ultimately found entirely valid. There are things one must dress up for, things that deserve to be honored with respect. The reverse is also true. We can elevate our life situations greatly if we do not neglect ourselves. The way we dress affects us: we behave differently in an elegant outfit than in jeans and sneakers. In a bold, modern ensemble that truly suits us—one in which we feel authentic and beautiful—we can more easily change our circumstances. Our presence shifts; we send a different message to ourselves and to the world around us. “My mother was right,” Jane Birkin once said in a similar situation. “When all seems lost, there is nothing left to do but slip into a silk robe and read Proust. And if you have doubts,” she added, “wear red!” Indeed, that is how it is. Our clothing plays a far greater role in our lives than we might think. We should pay much more attention to it than we usually do, because it can be of immense importance—during a chance encounter, or even a planned meeting—when all seems lost, and even when it doesn’t. /This piece was written years ago. As I return, it finds its place here once again, unchanged./