People Don’t Stay Because They Never Choose

Why do so many relationships and life paths fail today? Because without commitment, nothing can grow, deepen, or truly matter. I believe what is missing from people today is commitment. The ability to say, with a full heart, that I truly want someone—or something—and to stand by that choice in good times and in bad. Even when I get hurt. Even when, from the outside, it might look like I’m losing (or I may even feel that way). Because none of that changes how I relate to people or to what I believe in. If I commit, then what matters is that I am someone you can build with. Someone you can plan a future with. Someone you can begin long-term work with—because I remain consistent in what I want: the other person, and our shared vision. I act for it with persistence. I believe in it. And whatever we invest energy in begins to grow, to take shape, to gain value. I think this is also the reason behind so many failed human relationships: the lack of commitment. Most people today—men, and just as often women—want one thing today and something entirely different tomorrow. By the time they finally express what they want, their mind is already somewhere else, or with someone else. One day they are deeply in love with one person; the next day, they claim their heart belongs to someone new.

And this same attitude appears in everything else as well. In work, for example: today they open a business, tomorrow they want to become performers. They are unwilling to consistently put in the work—day after day—into anything. They are always searching for the easier option. If something else appears even slightly more attractive, more exciting than what they currently have—whether it’s a relationship, a job, or a friendship—they immediately turn toward it. Their attention is always captured by whatever seems better in the moment. And when that shiny new thing turns out not to be what they imagined, they move on again. They want everything, immediately—and always the best of everything. But without commitment, nothing holds real value in their lives. Because only what we invest our energy in becomes valuable. I believe it is good to be loyal—to stand by someone in good times and bad. That is what gives a relationship its true worth. An unfaithful person gives nothing to anyone. Someone who needs something different every single day is unwilling to invest energy into anyone—and their relationships reflect that. Over time, such a person begins to see their life as empty, joyless, and without direction. “There’s no point to any of this,” they say. “The world is cruel. Nothing works. There are no real relationships, no true friendships…” For someone who is unwilling to invest, who never truly chooses anyone or anything—because they are constantly trying to compensate for their inner uncertainty—then yes… for them, there really isn’t. What you return to every day is what your life becomes. — Agatha Seymour /This piece was written years ago. As I return, it finds its place here once again, unchanged./