The Power of Communication and Kindness in Strong Relationships

Just as we find all kinds of women (and I’m not trying to measure people here), we also find all kinds of men. There are some we would rather not look back on, and others for whom, even though the relationship ended for some reason, we still feel love and gratitude deep in our hearts. These men—how and why, I don’t know, perhaps it comes from their self-respect—are capable of being true partners, the kind most of us probably long for: kind, confident, supportive. One of the most important things they know, among many, is how to communicate well. In my life, I have experienced relationships that, in theory, should have brought me a great deal of happiness, yet we could not understand each other at all. We interpreted things so differently that we could not find common ground, and the relationship ended painfully, in stormy arguments. Then there were others—unfortunately fewer—where we understood each other perfectly. Partly because we had a shared understanding, and partly because we both had the intention to enrich each other’s lives. Despite the differences in male and female ways of thinking, we collaborated wonderfully in almost every aspect of life, made each other better people, learned to see the world through each other’s eyes, and grew together.

What was the secret of these men? I don’t know—perhaps (I’m just guessing) it was that they were able to be good to themselves. By this, I don’t mean that they exploited the other person in every possible way, because according to the laws of life, that can only lead to painful consequences. Rather, they were willing to act in ways that made both partners happy in the relationship. They supported the other person in their successes and ideas, they did not hold back praise, and they not only considered how to make the other person happy in ways that truly benefited them, but they also acted on it. The goal was not for them to be the most fantastic people in the world, admired with wide eyes and sighs, but for both partners to see themselves as fantastic and valuable. Relationships of this kind offer incredible opportunities for both people! What could be more wonderful than helping each other become the best versions of ourselves through one another? This is our shared success—the greatest thing that can happen between two people: believing in each other, loving, encouraging, holding a hand when doubt arises. And enjoying the results, the best part of which we get for ourselves: at the end of the day, when it’s just the two of us, we are happy… Agatha Seymour /This piece was written years ago. As I return, it finds its place here once again, unchanged./